I C U P

God-knows what my neighbors thought had they looked out the window this afternoon. I was walking around the outside of my garage, peeing on it. And not just one place – I peed in half a dozen spots before my bladder was empty.

Rats have invaded our garage, to eat the birdseed and grass seed, and today I cleaned everything up and put the seeds in plastic containers. But how to discourage the rats from coming back? I figured it would be best to let them smell that a new boss is in town. Hey, if people spray coyote pee to scare away deer, why not try this?

Only hours after I personally scented the outside of the garage, I went over to Jordy’s for the Superbowl Party, arriving just minutes before half-time. Well, Jordy hasn’t finished redoing his downstairs bathroom. All you see is a few sealed copper pipes and hole the toilet will mount over. Jordy suggested this was just like some of the bathrooms I must have seen on my travels (correct) and when I made like I was going to pee in there, his wife took my claim seriously and defended the bathroom – zealously.

That’s the great thing about plausibility – you only need to convince people there’s a legitimate, non-zero chance you might do something, and they act like you will do it. I’d never really pee in someone’s new bathroom down a whole in the floor; no-one’s aim is that perfect. But DeeDee wasn’t sure, so I kept her on her toes for a few minutes as I dodged and weaved her blocks, before finally heeding nature’s call in the upstairs, finished bathroom.