I generally think of myself as a lucky, lucky guy. So I can’t really complain when odd things befall me, but they do make me laugh, and they also make my friends say, “Tell me when you are flying out of London, so I can NOT book a flight then.”
Here’s a select personal history:
In 2005, Gate Gourmet, the catering company for BA, fired 600+ staff by literally shouting the dismissal through a megaphone to picketing strikers. In response, BA ground crew went on strike in sympathy for Gate Gourmet workers. I had boarded the plane, the gate had been pulled back, but minutes before ground crew had reversed the plane (which apparently can’t go in reverse itself without damaging the terminal), the strike began. So I sat on the plane 7 hours, eventually disembarked to the same airport, and spent 5 days in London without luggage waiting to fly home. I still wear the shoes I bought on BA’s dime, as I only had flip-flops with me.
In 2006, politicians needing a distraction from their own misdeeds claimed that a bunch of half-wits without passports or tickets were going to imminently blow up a plane, which is why you can no longer carry a water bottle onto a plane. You can of course carry contact lens solution, which means our planes are safe unless Osama bin Whatsit starts wearing contacts. Anyway, I was en route from the island of Corsica to New York City, with an 8 hour stopover in London which turned into 4 days. At least I had my luggage this time.
In 2010, a volcano (of all things) shuts down British airspace for the longest period of time in aviation history. All UK flights have been grounded since Thursday (today is Monday) and I don’t know when I’ll fly, as the damn volcano is still exploding. Comically, the Germans think the UK restrictions, which extend to their airspace, are a bunch of nonsense, and have been flying empty planes around to prove this. My guess is that some bureaucrat has realized that if he authorizes flights, and people die, he gets fired, so said bureaucrat is staying on the safe side. That said, the risk is legitimately real, as volcano ash turns to molten glass inside jet engines, and cars in my street are covered with a fine layer of ash.
I response, I’m holding a Stranded in London party this afternoon.
