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Whenever I’m hanging out with a few of my American buddies, and the conversation veers towards girls, I wait for someone (I’m thinking of you, Paul Perry) to inevitably say, “Don’t European Girls have hair armpits? I don’t know how you could date them!” I simply stare in wonder and ask my friends what exactly they [...] I like to think of myself as a fundamentally good person who is, in both friendship and amour, attracted to other fundamentally good people. But there comes a time in one’s life when, for no reason in particular, one feels compelled to confess dark secrets. Mine include: Faked a positive result on a Tuberculosis test. For [...] After a long stint in the US, I’m back in Old Blighty. How do I know? The clarification on the pumpkin. Even mentally handicapped American children know what a pumpkin is for – it’s to make a jack-o-lantern. Not the English – their pumpkins come with handy stickers. In other news, I’m in court today, as [...] One of my (and most computer geeks) favorite cartoons is XKCD. It’s shocking how relevant it is to me sometimes.
I live right by Brick Lane, the neighborhood that is chock-a-block full of Bangladeshi immigrants and restaurants that serve Bangladeshi food to white Londoners. Where the real Bangladeshi’s eat out is still a mystery to me. Anyway, there are also a lot of wholesale clothes stores in the areas, and they have without a doubt the [...] I’ve been called a lot of things, but perfect is not one of them . . . until recently. And, to be honest, they weren’t referring to me. Just my urine. Like all British residents, I’m eligible for the National Health Service, the free single-payer government run health service. So I selected and registered with a [...] I had an amazing walk along the Thames with Diana Pittet and her friend Inkeri (not an Eskimo). We had about 5-6 separate stops for food and drink, including a mind-boggling good Jamaican Vegetarian Curry out of Greenwich Market. But, silly me, I didn’t take my camera, so the only photographic evidence I have from [...] I’ve been spending more and more time with a particular female dentist-friend in London, and am only now realizing the full range of oral services she can perform – but they come with a price. For instance, my teeth have always been more yellow than the average person, and I don’t even smoke or drink tea [...] Helping a friend help her neice to win the Flat Stanley competition, I spent a day sightseeing in London. If you’ve never met Flat Stanley, and wonder what I’m talking about, Flat Stanley is the homework assignment of grade school children across the country. They mail a small paper cutout of Stanley to a distant [...] God-knows what my neighbors thought had they looked out the window this afternoon. I was walking around the outside of my garage, peeing on it. And not just one place – I peed in half a dozen spots before my bladder was empty. Rats have invaded our garage, to eat the birdseed and grass seed, and [...] |
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