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Whenever I’m hanging out with a few of my American buddies, and the conversation veers towards girls, I wait for someone (I’m thinking of you, Paul Perry) to inevitably say, “Don’t European Girls have hair armpits? I don’t know how you could date them!” I simply stare in wonder and ask my friends what exactly they [...] After a long stint in the US, I’m back in Old Blighty. How do I know? The clarification on the pumpkin. Even mentally handicapped American children know what a pumpkin is for – it’s to make a jack-o-lantern. Not the English – their pumpkins come with handy stickers. In other news, I’m in court today, as [...] I remember back when Panama was invaded and Manuel Noriega was holed up somewhere in a Church, the US Army blasted rock music round the clock in an effort to get him out. How odd and quaint, I thought at the time. But I’ve been on the receiving end of such music, both as a [...] It’s supposed to be crap, but really it hasn’t been that bad. It’s just two long seasons, with Spring moving into Autumn, which in turn moves back into Spring. Of course, as it never gets truly hot out, women don’t wear the outfits they normally would in summer. So my eyes suffer the most, I [...] I live right by Brick Lane, the neighborhood that is chock-a-block full of Bangladeshi immigrants and restaurants that serve Bangladeshi food to white Londoners. Where the real Bangladeshi’s eat out is still a mystery to me. Anyway, there are also a lot of wholesale clothes stores in the areas, and they have without a doubt the [...] I don’t even watch TV, but I thought I had a chance to be on it when I replied to a flier looking for participants in a new reality show. Each episode, a different pair of female best friends (one of whom is ‘ugly’ in the conventional sense) get a makeover and ‘lads’ (that would [...] I’ve been called a lot of things, but perfect is not one of them . . . until recently. And, to be honest, they weren’t referring to me. Just my urine. Like all British residents, I’m eligible for the National Health Service, the free single-payer government run health service. So I selected and registered with a [...] Anybody who has ever moved to Britain knows the frustration of trying to prove your identity and residence. Getting anything, such as a cell phone contract, library card, car rental, or registering with a physician, requires you to bring a recent copy of a utility bill or bank statement. This gets really frustrating when you want [...] Last night I went to a West End play – my first in London – watching the uber-famous Waiting for Godot. I really have no idea why in the world it was so famous and well respected – as an English major who supposedly grasps literature, I just didn’t get it. But it was great nonetheless. [...] I had an amazing walk along the Thames with Diana Pittet and her friend Inkeri (not an Eskimo). We had about 5-6 separate stops for food and drink, including a mind-boggling good Jamaican Vegetarian Curry out of Greenwich Market. But, silly me, I didn’t take my camera, so the only photographic evidence I have from [...] |
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